When my marriage ended in January 2009, it was a very sad and traumatic time and while I wasn't ready to jump back into another relationship in the near future, I never thought for a second that I'd still be single 5 years down the line.
In the months that followed my newly single status, all I was concerned with was making sure that Damian and Erin felt safe and secure, that even though Mummy and Daddy weren't together anymore, we still loved them more than anything. It wasn't an easy time, that's for sure, but with a little perseverance and a lot of love and cuddles, I can honestly say that they are now very happy with our situation.
Their dad is no longer involved with them, but they know they can talk to me about it, without me getting angry or upset. I regularly tell them that they can talk to me about anything, that it's better to talk about what's bothering them rather than letting it build up. I answer their questions as honestly as I can, giving answers that relate to their age and what they can understand and without them feeling rejected.
I'm not going in depth about what has happened over these 5 years, it'd take me all day to put it into words, so we'll just fast forward to 2014 and how my life has changed for the better.
My children and I have the best relationship I think a mother could ever have with her children. It's been the 3 of us for so long, we do everything together and I don't think we could be any closer. We talk, we laugh, we play. We argue, we cry, we make up. We're only human, but my children trust me that I'll always be there for them and not walk away. That no matter how tough things get, they come home to me and I will try my hardest to make things better.
However, having to be so strong and having no-one to talk to, does take it toll on me. Being the one that has to make all the decisions, make sure that bills are paid and food is on the table, being solely responsible for earning the wage to pay for things. It's very tough, but I take consolation from my spiritual faith and I know things will get better, it always works out the way it should in the end.
On days when the loneliness of not having a partner gets to me, this quote brings me some peace. I would love nothing more than to have that special someone in my life, someone who will love me and be there for me no matter what. But I'm a big believer in fate and know my happy ending is coming, I just have to be patient.
I'm not a person who will be in the wrong relationship just because I'm scared of being alone. I'm very happy in my own company and I'll never settle for second best. It's not fair on me or the person I'm with to carry on pretending to be happy.
Like I said above, I believe everything will work out. As the great Supremes sang: 'You can't hurry love'.
I still believe in love and happy ever after. I haven't been jaded and I'm certainly not bitter. After all, what's meant for you wont pass you by.